Wild, Wild Stag

from Dr. Snake and The Snake Doctors by Greig Johnson

	/

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lyrics

I sent a beer emoji on WhatsApp, and wrote 'Boys, this is gonna hurt'
Drank a G&T in the kitchen as I ironed a smart casual shirt.
Barely had to wait for the Uber. Then that Party Prius rolled into town
Me and all my friends who were available. Gonna paint it red and burn it down.

Wild, wild stag, let the cats out the bag / It's a Tuesday and we're raisin hell
Wild, wild stag, no I don't mean to brag / But honey I wasn't home till twelve.
I briefly wore a traffic cone like a wizard's hat as we joked about gettin tattoos
Cos if you're offering horseplay, I don't mind if I do. Yeah.

We did a submarine-themed escape room / Didn't make it out, but we had a blast
And we're there to this day, on their Facebook page / Wearing funny nautical hats.
Then for gluten-free, high-end cocktails / that came in lightbulbs and conical flasks
So, they were slightly too sweet and they sure weren't cheap
But I was havin too much fun to ask. And I only had two.

Wild, wild stag, let the cats out the bag / Bad boys lookin for a fight (metaphorically)
Wild, wild stag, no I don't mean to brag / But child we own this town tonite. Yeah.
I've got a hot face and I'm sleepy / Baby we is havin a ball
And when my brother leaves early, I hardly mind at all.

A table for six at Fazenda / Where they carve the beef right onto your plate. Woo!
We were full within minutes, but we stayed for an hour,
though I don't usually eat that late.
Felt like the kings of Leeds, musta had 7 meats. Or maybe 8. Or even 9.
And though my friend Ethan's a vegan / He had the courtesy to just eat sides.
…And I appreciated him not making a thing out of it...

Wild, wild stag, let the cats out the bag / The wildest night that I ever had
We almost nearly went to a strip club / But agreed that it'd make us sad.
My friends from school all had to work next day,
so caught the second to last train home
While I chilled and waited for an Uber that didn't show
So I walked home on my own
Yeah the stag walked home alone.

credits

from Dr. Snake and The Snake Doctors, released July 26, 2019

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about

Greig Johnson Leeds, UK

Comedy actor and musician who's in 'The Mash Report' and 'Class Dismissed'.

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