First World Problem Stomp

from Dr. Snake and The Snake Doctors by Greig Johnson

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lyrics

Should I buy a PS4 or a Switch for my son?
I got First World Problems and that Switch just one. Hit me.

Well we all gonna suffer, yeah we all get strife
That's just the way that it go
Well you say you got trouble brother – that ain't right
But me I got some worries of my own.
My Photoshop's crashing, my phone's getting slow
And Netflix is slim pickings at best.
Lotta folks I know say, "Hey, I can't complain"
But I got it bout as bad as it gets.

I got burden. Honey I got grief. Yeah.
They may be First World baybeh… but they're still Problems to me.

'Fore you tell me I'm lucky, try walkin in my shoes
Till you got the Two-Years-Out-of-Date-Racing-Bike Blues
Now it's playroom or steamroom — we can't have both
Lord, I almost had to dip into the ISA this month.
My homebrew kombucha's slightly vinegary
Got denied planning permission for an orangery
The folks I always vote for are taxing me dry, and this year's
Wimbledon clashes with a wedding in Dubai.

I got burden — I'm down on my knees
They may be First World baybeh… but they're still Problems to me.

Sure I'm hashtag Blessed. Always check my privilege.
But 60meg wifi'd push any man to the edge
My allotment's yielding far too many courgettes
I wanna snowboard but I can't find my salopettes.

That's my burden. A pain I just can't hide
It's First World problematic… I can't be satisfied.

I just want my own personal shopper.
Someone to buy me stuff; is that asking too much?

credits

from Dr. Snake and The Snake Doctors, released July 26, 2019

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about

Greig Johnson Leeds, UK

Comedy actor and musician who's in 'The Mash Report' and 'Class Dismissed'.

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